Slaying the demons
by farmermum
Summary: Most people have battles to face but the worst battles are the ones we have with ourselves and, if we're lucky someone to help us slay our demons
1. Chapter 1

War and Peace: Chapter One. Peace

All traces of the Starlight meal had been cleared away and the farmhouse set to rights. A lively fire crackled in the grate, the sweet smell of apple wood scenting the winter evening with memories of the year gone by. The home glowed with light from the old fashioned lamps placed around the room. Although the furniture was old these were no expensive antiques but comfortable country pieces, worn family pieces, smelling of beeswax and large squashy armchairs covered in handmade throws. Karen was seated in one of the largest of these, relaxing with her feet up on an overstuffed pouffe drinking in the peace of the night. The door opened with a squeak and Robin and Ruth came running out of the bathroom, bathed and ready for bed. Like two happy little puppies they swarmed over the arms of the chair and snuggled into her arms. With a smile she closed her book and hugged her seven-year-old twins close, breathing in that curious mixture of warm skin and baby powder.

" Kids, be careful, don't fuss your mother," Jack warned, gently as he took his jacket from the hook. " Come on now, bed."

" Aw, Dad," they both chorused. " Not yet, we want mummy." Two pairs of large blue eyes pleaded with him.

" It's O.K. Jack," Karen smiled up at him. " It's fine, a little longer won't hurt them."

" If you're sure love?"

"I'm sure." Karen hugged the twins closer.

" I'll be about half an hour, no longer," Jack assured her, " so be good."

" We will, daddy," Robin and Ruth promised.

As Jack left he could hear the twins begging for a story.

Karen sighed with contentment. These peaceful moments were moments she treasured. Anytime she spent with her children was special to Karen but, since September, these two now went to Mary's little school at the library during the week. With the babies in bed these moments with Robin and Ruth were now extra special.

"Story, mummy. Story."

" O.K. sweethearts, " Karen soothed them. " Sssh.. your brother and sisters are fast asleep. Now where shall we begin?"

" Tell us about the princess," Ruth begged.

" Alright, darling, where do we begin? Ah, yes. Once upon a time there was a very special princess, " Karen began as her twins snuggled ever closer. " and her name was Fionella."

" No, mummy, Marigold," Ruth corrected.

" Yes, you're quite right," Karen kissed her head," she was called Marigold. She was the only child of the King and Queen of the realm and she lived in a huge white castle. She was good and kind and beautiful but she was under a wicked spell that made her very, very unhappy."

" Was she as beautiful as you, mummy?" Robin asked.


	2. Chapter 2

War and Peace: Chapter two. War

Karen sat on the sand, her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped tightly around her body. Cold, grey spray stung her skin and turned her hair to sticky rat's tails but she didn't move. The night could never be as cold as her heart nor the spray as bitter as the tears that rolled down her face. This was it. She just couldn't do this anymore. She just couldn't fight anymore.

Ever since she could remember Karen had felt out of place, she just didn't belong. There was nowhere she felt totally secure, not even in her own family; especially not in her own family. An only child, she was born to parents who were so complete in themselves that she felt she never made any impression on their lives. Sasha made no secret of the fact that her conception was an accident, one that she had no intention of repeating. Sasha, so cool and elegant, reared Karen but she remained distant. She did all that had to be done for her daughter but there were no hugs and her childhood Karen would watch her friends with their parents and wonder what was wrong with her. She'd watch them laughing, hugging, kissing and longed for the same. Jeff was too fragile and needy to give Karen any attention at all. He lived so much in his own world that he sometimes forget she was there at all. Karen tried so hard to make Sasha love her, the way Lilia loved Popuri but she couldn't. She soon came to realise that whatever she did was never going to be enough. Eventually she worked out that the only way she got Sasha's attention at all was by behaving badly. Sasha never even punished her; she just pushed her further away. Karen just longed for her mother to hold her and tell her how much she loved her but that didn't happen. What sort of horrid child was she when her own mother couldn't love her?

As she grew older it got no better. Karen just felt angry, frustrated and so lost. Nothing she did ever made her feel complete. All around her friends seemed to have meaning to their lives while she had nothing. Ann had her cooking, Elli her studies, Mary her writing and Popuri her beauty and her loving family. She'd tried so hard to be the perfect daughter but every day she looked in the mirror and the face that looked back would never be the sort of daughter that Sasha would love.

Karen looked for ways to block out the hurt and so she began to drink. It blurred the edges of her world; it made her feel good, confident, and brave. It also made her reckless. Sasha and Jeff just ignored things but that made Karen push things even further. The other girls were in awe of her worldly behaviour. She was the one doing all the things they were too shy to do. She was the girl with the daring clothing, she was the one who smoked, who had her navel pierced and who had a tattoo and defied anyone to check her. More then once she'd been too drunk to get home and had to be helped but she always laughed it off saying she was young and having fun. Their admiration made her feel special and so she went further every time. But every time she woke up hung over and smelling of vomit, every time she hurt one of her friends with her sarcastic remarks, she hated herself even more.

Last night she'd been in the bar. She'd dressed very carefully in a tight little, low cut top and the shortest skirt she owned. There were a group of three hunters in the inn that week and she'd flirted with them in the supermarket. Sasha and Jeff had watched her but made no comment. 'Common' was the only word Sasha had said to her and in her heart Karen agreed. Well, she'd show Sasha, she'd show them all. Tonight she'd decided to have fun. She'd known they were all watching her as she'd walked in, Doug, Duke, Cliff and Jack, as well as the others and she'd courted the attention. She'd bought just the one drink at the bar but Doug didn't know about the half bottle of vodka she'd drunk round the back of the supermarket before she got there. She'd been already drunk enough for the room to be wavering around her. She'd show them she wasn't a little girl any more. Ann could giggle about her dates with Cliff and Popuri could swoon about her kissing sessions with Kai but she was going to show them. She knew she could do it. Let them keep their little boys she was going to get herself a man.

They'd been sitting to the right of the bar and one of them, the tall, loud one had put out an arm and grabbed Karen by the waist as she passed. She'd allowed herself to be pulled onto his lap; giggling and she'd wrapped her arms around his neck. He'd kissed her, there, right in front of everyone and she'd felt so special. The second man had ordered a round of drinks and coaxed Karen onto his lap to get her drink. He'd kissed her too and she'd drunk down the cocktail in one gulp. Laughing, the third man copied his friend and Karen downed yet another cocktail as she was dumped in his lap. He'd kissed her, slobbering drunkenly and squeezing her breast. He'd dribbled wine over her breasts and pushed down her vest to lick it off. Karen had flung back her head laughing, shrilly but she was already growing scared. She was now so drunk she couldn't seem to stop them as they passed her around. Bill, the leader of the group had her back on his lap now. He was still kissing her but now she squirmed in his lap and tried to get up. She was too drunk and she just flopped back down. Now she was really frightened as he openly thrust his hand up her skirt and he'd whispered what he and his friends could do for her.

Doug and Duke had rescued her and ordered the men out of the bar. She'd run into the toilets and thrown up in the sink. She could hardly bear to look at herself in the mirror. Her make up was smeared over her face; her top was torn and stained with wine. She was so disgusted and ashamed of herself she couldn't face anyone so she had fled through the back door and stumbled down to the beach.

Now she knew what she had to do. There was no other way. Karen had got to her feet and walked down to water's edge. She'd always loved the sea. Stumbling on the pebbles Karen had walked on into the cold water, sobbing in her despair. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she flinched.

"Hello, Karen. Going for a midnight paddle? Mind if I join you?" It was Jack.

Karen just stopped, unable to answer.

" God, this is cold" Jack laughed, " My feet have gone numb. Come on now let's go back up the beach and get warm."

Karen still didn't answer but she allowed Jack to steer her back up the beach and sit her down in the shelter of the dunes. He just sat her down and put his jacket around her shoulders and waited. Karen sat there in misery and finally began to cry. He merely put his arm around her, hushed her and held her as she sobbed. He said little but let her pour it all out and listened without condemnation. He just listened and kept her safe. When, at last, Her sobs subsided he held her and told her how much he liked her, how she didn't have to be anyone but herself. He pointed out all her good points, how kind she was, how beautiful. When she refused to go home he took her back to his farm and let her sleep in his bed while he slept in the stable. In the morning he'd walked her home and promised her he'd be back.


	3. Chapter 3

War and Peace: Chapter three. Happily ever after.

" Mummy, was she as beautiful as you?" Ruth asked again.

" Sorry, sweetheart, yes, she was far more beautiful than me."

" And did the Prince come and make everything better?" Robin asked, sleepily sucking his thumb. Karen smiled up at Jack as he came in through the door.

" Yes, the Prince came riding in and, with a wave of his magic sword, he banished all the Princess's demons and made her smile again."

" And they married and lived happily ever after?" Ruth pressed.

"Yes, they did marry." Jack answered.

"And lived happily ever after?"

" Yes, they lived happily ever after. Now come on, kiss your mummy goodnight and off to bed".

The twins both wound their arms around Karen's neck and kissed her before Jack lifted them both up and carried them to bed.

When Jack returned he held out his hand to Karen and helped her out of the chair. Together they walked outside and stood gazing up at the starlit sky. Jack put his arm around her and she rested her cheek against his shoulder.

"Did the Prince chase away the demons and is it happily ever after?"

" Oh, yes," Karen purred.

Yes, Jack had chased away her demons. Not with a magic sword but with the constancy of his love, Carefully he had courted Karen, moving gently, reinforcing her batter confidence, showing her she was someone worthy of love. He helped her to see it wasn't her fault her parents were that way they were it was theirs. He helped her to love herself just as she was and she learned to love him. Oh, the war wasn't won in a day or a week or even a year and there were more than a few skirmishes but with the birth of Robin and Ruth peace had reigned at last. The overwhelming love she felt for her children swept away all her doubts. At last she knew what love really was and that she had more than enough love for all of them.

Jack placed his hand on her heavily pregnant stomach.

"Twins again?"

" Yes, love, Trent says he's sure. Isn't it great! I can't wait."

"Six children in nine years, I'm amazed." Jack mused. " You are amazing."

"I couldn't be happier," Karen smiled placing her hand over his. " And I hope we have twins the next time too."

Jack laughed and kissed her as they turned and went back indoors.


End file.
